Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Brotherly Love

I was blessed to grow up with a sister who is only 18 months younger, so we shared pretty much everything. We did the same activities, shared a lot of the same experiences, and even a car.
When I started having all these boys, I couldn't fathom what raising them would be like, much less what being brothers would be like for them.

I hoped and prayed for the best case scenario. I was hopeful they would have a companion, a life-long best friend. They would have someone to play with any time they want. Having siblings doesn't come without it's challenges, but they are the very thing that prepares you for future relationships. To have to learn how to get along, take turns, and work out your differences, all while loving the other person.

My sister is my best friend, even after 31 years. I'm sure there are times that we didn't feel that way about each other, but we always had someone to talk to and we had a friend no matter where we moved.

So what does brotherhood look like in my house so far? I would say 90% of the time, there is rough housing, competition, yelling, running, name calling, fighting, and even some crying.
It is the other 10% I want to focus on, however. Those subtle moments that are barely noticeable. When one brother is being thoughtful and generous to another. It is a big brother, playing with baby brothers because he wants to "show them something cool." It is one brother bringing a blanket and a favorite buddy to another brother who is sick and lying on the couch. It is those nights that I listen outside their bedroom door, and they are having a sweet conversation with each other and letting their imaginations wander.

Now that they are here, I added to my prayer. I hope for them to be able to foster a great friendship among themselves. For them to celebrate each other's successes, to be happy for each other during good times, and support one another during bad times. Even though my walls may end up having holes knocked in them, and I have to have super glue on hand to fix things that break, it won't matter as long as they can always mend their relationship.

I get frustrated by the fighting, but every once in a while I get a moment of hope for their future. One of these came yesterday as B2 decided he was going to share his last Valentine's tattoo and some of his candy with B1. Anyone who knows B2 will tell you this was a very big deal, he does not give up his candy easily! At that moment I saw his sweet heart and the love he has for his brother.











Tuesday, February 5, 2013

What if SAHMs went on business trips?

My dear sweet husband went away on a business trip last week. While I do understand that he was working, I still can't help from being a little envious. The thought of leaving my house and all the work that goes along with it, to go to an interesting place, stay in a hotel, be around adults and have adult conversation. To worry about just me, for a change. To get just myself ready for the day, to watch what I want on tv, to have some piece and quiet.

In listing all of that, I guess I forgot there is actually work going on. So what I really want, is just to get away.

Luckily, my sister and I had already planned our annual spa getaway weekend for the end of the week, so I didn't have to wait long! After taking care of all four by myself, and preparing to go out of town, I couldn't wait to hit the road.

My instruction list for the boys was seven pages long, including a menu for the babies. I couldn't believe all that I do was summed up in a seven page instruction manual. Then it occurred to me, that isn't even the half of it. It didn't include cleaning the house, errand running, meal preparation, and entertaining/educating the children. I can't believe all of the stuff I have to do, I know it is a lot, but to put it down on paper is humbling.
Brad returned home from his trip late Wednesday night, and I left after getting the kids off to school on Thursday morning.

Spa retreat in Gatlinburg, here we come! I know we should probably switch it up a bit and go explore a different place, but it is only 3 hours by car, and nearly in the mountains. We have been to the area so much over the years, we don't feel the need to do tourist things, and we know where we like to eat.

We were a little disappointed Nashville got snow while we were gone, but happy that B1 got to have his first snow day from school. Meanwhile, we enjoyed the quiet, caught up on chick flick movies, and relaxed with a hot stone massage!

It was surprising to me how easily I settled into my "me time." With the exception of hearing phantom children yelling and crying at times, I reveled in the knowledge that I didn't have anyone I was responsible for. I had no guilt about sleeping in (with the help of zquil, I must admit,) eating sugary cereal, and vegging on the couch. No loads of laundry, very little meal preparation and virtually no cleaning up. It was nice not to have to utter my usual mantra of, "keep all four chair legs on the floor, sit your bottom in the chair, eat your veggies, and you already had like 3 desserts." I didn't hear my name over and over again followed by a "watch this."

Of course I missed my little men, but the time away gave me the renewal of energy I needed. When I returned home, I was greeted with the latest achievement of the twins, they are climbing on everything!!! Time to start planning my next "business" trip.